My guess is, because we cling to everything when we’re about to drown.
Depression is going through a black hole of emotions. Everything comes in, nothing comes out. And everything is nothing. We may be shining like the sun and still we will end up a void.
So when we finally get out of that black hole – some never could – the first thing we do is looking for a new light. Someone who would give our life meaning. Someone who would make us the center of the universe. Someone whose purpose is to spin around us.
I know I’m not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning round me just the same
I feel miserable going through any relationship. But the problem is, I seem to love being miserable. I don’t want to go through the black hole of no emotion again, so this time I embrace them, even the negative one. I want to feel.
And shit happens when I can’t be honest with my feelings at the same time I want to feel.