It’s getting harder to remember what feelings feel like.

Funny story. It was a spur of the moment thing when I decided that I should have a place to write out my thoughts and feelings. Thing is, now I only write when I don’t even know what to put into words.

It was less than half a year ago I think. For some reasons, I decided that I had “too much feelings” and putting those up as meaningless status on Facebook (meaningless for readers, not for me) was never enough. I want people, someone, anyone to know and share these feelings I had. I wanted to share how I like the girl from some manga I read. I wanted to discuss details of a movie I watched. I wanted a conversation. Only the ones who I wanted to do those with was not interested. The ones who was, I didn’t feel the same about. I felt out of sync.

But at least I felt something. Now? Remembering those times when I have feelings is like remembering a dream. You just know that you have it but can’t recall exactly what it is. Finally I understand when artists put it along the lines of “a world without color”. You know the colors, you know what they should look like. But. You. Just. Don’t. See. It.

Just finished reading a light novel called “5cm Per Second”. I keep telling myself I should have some thoughts, some lingering feelings about it. But I don’t. I just don’t.

Loneliness doesn’t come from having no one around you, but from being unable to¬†communicate the things that are important to you.

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