It’s been a while since the last time I woke up expecting an email and ended up disappointed throughout the day for not receiving it. An interview I did not get. Not that I am too depressed about it, just something that made my day a little gloomier than usual. I got another interview for Wednesday anyway.

Had lunch out with a close friend today. It was okay. We didn’t have much to talk about, just the usual chitchat between people who have known each other long enough to not having to invent new crap for conversation. Although I did felt somewhat bottled up today and didn’t want to talk all that much.

Spent the afternoon revamping my desktop with Rainmeter. The result is still a little crude, with different stuff that doesn’t fit perfectly with each other. The overall look is still okay though, so I’m thinking of fine-tuning it tomorrow.


The background was a screenshot from “If my heart has wings”, a visual novel I picked up a few days back. The story is still very intriguing so far, and the graphic was quite high-end (for a VN) – with many breath-taking scene like the one up there. Will do a review once I finish it.

I guess the low point for today was when I received no comment on my new desktop when I posted it on Facebook. No praises, no criticism. It is always hard on me whenever I feel ignored and abandoned.

Which is something I’ve been feeling a lot lately. I am one who loves to do stuff with other people, whether it be sitting in a coffee shop, eating out, watching movies or reading manga. I just have the urge to share whatever I do with people, so that they can do it with me and then talk about it together afterward. I always post new manga series I read on fb for someone, anyone to notice and read with me. Nope. Which was the reason why I’m starting to lose interest on reading recently.

I felt so happy the other day when I discovered an old friend who was really into visual novels, which I’m starting to read. We talked for nearly an hour about VNs, our impressions of different works, our views of the stories and characters and of upcoming releases to look forward to. It was so good to say things like “Oh yeah! That one!” and “I KNOW RIGHT?” about things stuff that we both like, right?

I wish I have a little sister, maybe 2 or 3 years younger than me. So that she can really look up to me as an older brother, but the age gap is also small enough for us to have common interests. I can take care of her, giving her advice and she can listen to my problems and try to overcome those with me. We will be living together, so obviously she will be around when I have something I want her to read, or something I want to show. I can take her out to drink, to eat, to watch movies. And we will be back to talk about it all together.She can tell me to “get off your ass and go to work”, and I can be overprotective when it comes to her boyfriend(s). An impossible fantasy, but I can’t help thinking about it in these lonely days.

End of another pointless, depressing and whiny rant post of a 20-something loser in life.



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